The Animator

[Not a vent just thinking out loud. Second comment for TL;DR version]

when i came out to my (openly gay and supportive) friends i felt bad because of what they would think of me i guess (not exactly but yeah)

• it felt like i had the right or the excuse to do something around them because i'm queer when it would be disgusting or weird if i were straight. i'm mostly thinking of simping over gay ships (mostly involving men) which isn't something i do or is comfortable doing. it's not that i don't like or disapprove of all gay ships, it's just that the ones i see the most are [word i don't know i can say on a kid's website]ing them. there's also being able to call literally anyone hot despite how weird it is. like, my friend would show me pictures of genshin characters that were mostly women and i always felt forced to scream "they're so hot i'd totally let her divorce me" :(.

• outside of my friend group, i feel weird saying anything to others because it feels like a "trend" or something along the lines. i'm proud of myself (more like comfortable) and i know a lot of people (including loved ones) will be supportive/loving but i feel so guilty mentioning it to anyone.

I feel like it could be for many reasons, like having to make being gay my personality when i feel so much better just having it be apart of me, a person, not a trait. Or maybe I feel guilty (just) liking women even though I'm not very embarrassed by that fact. Maybe I'm just worried as being labeled too "gay", selfish, etc...

It seriously doesn't even matter anymore, but I'm not sure why I keep thinking about it.

I don't know why I keep apologizing for making long threads either, I enjoy making them but I want to make them to be easier to read for people. So that people don't click away because they want bite sized content. Not an essay about my life. I've also wanted to talk about stuff I'm interested in but I don't think anyone wants to hear about why I hate s4 of Yu-gi-oh!.

TD;LR

I feel a bit guilty and bad about being bi even though I'm very happy with myself

I also worried about making long threads and not talking about interesting things that I like.

*I'm

honestly starry, just be yourself

""acting"" straight or gay is just a made up thing so don't worry about it

also women lewding MLM ships is such a red flag, no one should be doing that unless they're MLM/nblm themselves 😟

sorry if my sleep deprived input isn't the best 🐛