The Animator

sorryimlate.today

its made by dan

"I got very drunk on Bacardi Breezers and accidently took a bus to Hessle"

Sounds like a good excuse for a child

lol

My pet gerbil 🐹 Oscar ate all my avocados and vomited on my tights (i don't have a gerbil)

My aunt Trisha dropped a television on their pet hamster 🐹 Frodo

*i don't know anyone by the name of Trisha nor do i have a pet hamster...

“My uncle ate yesterday's fish and spontaneously combusted“

I had to see a policeman in Camelford about a washing-machine

i love this dam website X]

My step-auntie Agatha made an awful cake out of hamburger relish

Sounds like aomething step-auntie Agatha would do.

X]

"A sneaky squirrel stole my sock"

"My train hit a velociraptor 🦖 in Lytchett Minster & Upton" ah yes very...umm...up to date (xD)

A sneaky raccoon 🦝 stole my wedding ring

I found a human pelvis under the carnations in the garden

now it sounds like im a murderer

quick., someone help me hide the evidence

I karate-chopped a taxi driver trying to throw mashed potato at a goose

I dont have money*

And I dont know how to karate chop stuff